Dear Destiny,
It's been a while. Things have been busy and lonely at the same time. I haven't forgotten you though - have you forgotten me?
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Dear Destiny, It Feels Like Magic.
Dear Destiny,
It feels like magic - those moments when your research idea starts to seem possible. When you can see the prospective pieces align, and actually think someone else might believe in it too. I don't know what it is about right now, but Destiny I can't stop thinking about how to make this research real! eep!
It feels like magic - those moments when your research idea starts to seem possible. When you can see the prospective pieces align, and actually think someone else might believe in it too. I don't know what it is about right now, but Destiny I can't stop thinking about how to make this research real! eep!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Dear Destiny, The World Is So Big.
Dear Destiny,
The world is so big - it overwhelms me. I feel so small in comparison that it is hard to believe I will ever find my place, or ever find a companion. I feel too familiar with loneliness and yet I know that I can love. I do love, deeply. But I wish I knew the place or the person in this world that could love me back; love me in a way that calms the pangs of feeling lost and alone.
The world is so big - it overwhelms me. I feel so small in comparison that it is hard to believe I will ever find my place, or ever find a companion. I feel too familiar with loneliness and yet I know that I can love. I do love, deeply. But I wish I knew the place or the person in this world that could love me back; love me in a way that calms the pangs of feeling lost and alone.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Dear Destiny, Sometimes I Don't Believe
Dear Destiny,
Sometimes I don't believe that spring will arrive. When I look at all the trees with bare branches, I find myself doubting that new leaves will grow. I literally feel disbelief that so much can change in such little time as the seasons transition from winter to spring. And then, as if the Earth could sense my fear of an unrelenting state of winter, I notice - almost over night - that blossoms abound and there are traces of green in the trees again. Call it "an awakening" or "sign of hope" or what have you, but change is happening...
Sometimes I don't believe that spring will arrive. When I look at all the trees with bare branches, I find myself doubting that new leaves will grow. I literally feel disbelief that so much can change in such little time as the seasons transition from winter to spring. And then, as if the Earth could sense my fear of an unrelenting state of winter, I notice - almost over night - that blossoms abound and there are traces of green in the trees again. Call it "an awakening" or "sign of hope" or what have you, but change is happening...
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Dear Destiny, Just When Things Are Looking Up...
Dear Destiny,
Just when things are looking up, my world comes crashing down. Last week I received an "unofficial" job opportunity from one of the nation's top universities, and this week my parents phoned me to say that they are separating. I seem to be stuck on some type of karmic roller coaster and I'd like the ride to stop now, thank you very much. Please Destiny, make it stop!
Just when things are looking up, my world comes crashing down. Last week I received an "unofficial" job opportunity from one of the nation's top universities, and this week my parents phoned me to say that they are separating. I seem to be stuck on some type of karmic roller coaster and I'd like the ride to stop now, thank you very much. Please Destiny, make it stop!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Dear Destiny, I'm Dealing with Depression.
Dear Destiny,
I'm dealing with depression (again). Its fog is in full effect; and with little structure in my life right now, it sometimes yields an incapacitating force. So why am I telling you this Destiny?! Because I hope that if identifying the elephant in the room can set it free, then maybe I can unleash myself from its weightiness.
PS. A good follow-up interview earlier this week + parental protest that I cannot accept the job (in the DRC) = not helping.
I'm dealing with depression (again). Its fog is in full effect; and with little structure in my life right now, it sometimes yields an incapacitating force. So why am I telling you this Destiny?! Because I hope that if identifying the elephant in the room can set it free, then maybe I can unleash myself from its weightiness.
PS. A good follow-up interview earlier this week + parental protest that I cannot accept the job (in the DRC) = not helping.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Dear Destiny, Where is Humanity?
Dear Destiny,
Where is humanity? Sometimes after reading the news I wonder how this world ever got so big and complicated. When there is ceaseless conflict between neighbors; when people feel justified in killing each other; when trafficking the innocent becomes a business; and when half the species faces discrimination because of xx chromosomes ... how do we survive, this human race?
Where is humanity? Sometimes after reading the news I wonder how this world ever got so big and complicated. When there is ceaseless conflict between neighbors; when people feel justified in killing each other; when trafficking the innocent becomes a business; and when half the species faces discrimination because of xx chromosomes ... how do we survive, this human race?
Monday, February 11, 2013
Dear Destiny, What's This?
Dear Destiny,
What's this? It's Monday morning and my week is pretty much a blank slate ... aside from the modest size to-do list. I thought that surely after last week's efforts in the job hunt that my inbox would be flooded with emails asking for interviews. But perhaps they are waiting for exactly the right moment ... in which case Destiny, I hope it's soon!
What's this? It's Monday morning and my week is pretty much a blank slate ... aside from the modest size to-do list. I thought that surely after last week's efforts in the job hunt that my inbox would be flooded with emails asking for interviews. But perhaps they are waiting for exactly the right moment ... in which case Destiny, I hope it's soon!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Dear Destiny, I'm Still Here.
Dear Destiny,
I'm still here, in the District. After a week of bizarre weather ranging from snow, to 70 degrees Fahrenheit and a tornado watch, back to freezing temperatures, I'm surviving it. It sure is more interesting than days upon days of rain! But the excitement stops there; I'm still actively hunting for full-time employment and am starting to get a little anxious for something to come along. But I confess, I am being super picky in my searches for something that is "just right" - no compromising. Because Destiny, more than just work I want to find a position that fulfills my aching sense of urgency to do good in the world. My beliefs in community health, an ecological approach, and empowerment-based solutions are firm and I'm not backing down.
I'm still here, in the District. After a week of bizarre weather ranging from snow, to 70 degrees Fahrenheit and a tornado watch, back to freezing temperatures, I'm surviving it. It sure is more interesting than days upon days of rain! But the excitement stops there; I'm still actively hunting for full-time employment and am starting to get a little anxious for something to come along. But I confess, I am being super picky in my searches for something that is "just right" - no compromising. Because Destiny, more than just work I want to find a position that fulfills my aching sense of urgency to do good in the world. My beliefs in community health, an ecological approach, and empowerment-based solutions are firm and I'm not backing down.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Dear Destiny, It's Been A Week.
Dear Destiny,
It's been a week since I arrived in DC and so far I'm surviving it. Admittedly, this is a bleak time of year to be relocating here, and the winter landscape (and drivers) left me feeling that I was truly in foreign territory. But after a week of apartment-searching and job-hunting, I'm feeling like my decision to settle here for a while is a good choice. Also, it helps that I have a two-member fan club (a 2 year old niece and 4 year old nephew; children of my cousin) who bolster my spirits with cuddles and compliments. But now that I'm here Destiny, let's get to work!
PS. Inauguration was crazy. I was glad to make it into town for the event, but happy to keep a distance form the masses of people and general mayhem on the Mall.
It's been a week since I arrived in DC and so far I'm surviving it. Admittedly, this is a bleak time of year to be relocating here, and the winter landscape (and drivers) left me feeling that I was truly in foreign territory. But after a week of apartment-searching and job-hunting, I'm feeling like my decision to settle here for a while is a good choice. Also, it helps that I have a two-member fan club (a 2 year old niece and 4 year old nephew; children of my cousin) who bolster my spirits with cuddles and compliments. But now that I'm here Destiny, let's get to work!
PS. Inauguration was crazy. I was glad to make it into town for the event, but happy to keep a distance form the masses of people and general mayhem on the Mall.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Dear Destiny, I'm Stuck.
Dear Destiny,
I'm stuck in Chicago on my way traveling east. The break from the train and the diversity of people has been refreshing but a brief encounter with a stranger today has left me feeling grounded: I stopped for a man on the street who was shaking a cup for change. I emptied my pockets for him knowing it wasn't much but still wanting to make a kind gesture. Instead though, the man barked at my pithy contribution saying "That won't help me!" Any rebuttal would be insufficient - he was right - my few coins wouldn't make things much better. I spent the day wrestling with this and handing out my spare change as I could (usually to much more welcoming persons) in a futile attempt to relieve my conscious. I suppose the hardest thing Destiny, is believing that thing that is the very underpinning of epidemiology; that even small change when multiplied across a population, really can shift the distribution.
I'm stuck in Chicago on my way traveling east. The break from the train and the diversity of people has been refreshing but a brief encounter with a stranger today has left me feeling grounded: I stopped for a man on the street who was shaking a cup for change. I emptied my pockets for him knowing it wasn't much but still wanting to make a kind gesture. Instead though, the man barked at my pithy contribution saying "That won't help me!" Any rebuttal would be insufficient - he was right - my few coins wouldn't make things much better. I spent the day wrestling with this and handing out my spare change as I could (usually to much more welcoming persons) in a futile attempt to relieve my conscious. I suppose the hardest thing Destiny, is believing that thing that is the very underpinning of epidemiology; that even small change when multiplied across a population, really can shift the distribution.
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