Dear Destiny,
Today was pretty ordinary, except I came across something I wrote four and a half years ago and it's left a haunting impression. Five years ago I was newly married. four and a half years ago I was in the middle of divorce. I have mostly repressed the memories from that time in my life (and some of the years leading up to it), but largely what I recall is feeling hurt and disappointed. What this writing revealed however, was a moment of hope that had found me unsuspecting. I even wrote something like, "here I am. both feet on the ground and a smile all over!" but in the years since, I have lost that hope on more than one occasion. Now is suppose to be the time of my life - the world as my oyster. I just finished grad school in a program I loved and with people I adore. This summer alone I've crossed the Atlantic four times, interviewed for two different international doctoral programs, and swum through the Willamette river. Not too shabby. but when I'm asked the question, "what's next?" I swallow hard, force on a smile, and with my best attempt at optimism reply with, "I'm figuring that out!" it's true - I am figuring it out - but I feel I've lost that hope again. So destiny, I see us as partners in this thing called my future, so I thought I'd write you and let you know: I am ready now.
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